You know you have lived in Spain too long, when:

• You just love eating pickled garlic (and pickled baby figs)
• Both sugar and Leche Condensada are normal in a very very small coffee
• Adding fanta orange, still lemon drink, or even cola to red wine is acceptable, especially lunch times
• You are surprised when the Spanish workman, ie electrician/plumber/decorator turns up on time, usually he doesn´t bother to turn up at all
• You don´t go to any office at around 11 am as this is the time (about) for the staff to disappear for breakfast at the local cafe or have a 30 minute ciggy break
• You don´t shout at people who use your car bumper to help them when trying to park in a very tight spot
• When you live in the mountains of Granada, thunder storms while it is snowing are normal
• You think it’s okay to comment on every-one’s appearance or to openly stare at strangers who wonder into your Barrio
• You are amazed when Spanish TV breaks for adverts last less than half an hour, especially just before the end of films
• You forget to say please when asking for things after all it is implied in your tone of voice
• You eat lunch around 2 to 3 pm, never have your evening meal before 9.30 pm
• You know that there is little point in going shopping after 2 pm, just take a siesta until 5 pm (or sometimes 6 pm) when the shops re-open
• You expect beer to be ice-cold and won´t accpet anything else
• You like to dunk cakes in horchata for a lovely late breakfast
• On Fiesta mornings and Sundays, you have breakfast just before going to bed rather than after you get up
• Blonde women from northern Europe actually think their name is rubia
• You can eat up to 5 times a day – first breakfast, followed by second breakfast around 11.00, almuerzo, merienda, cena – and you don´t put on any weight
• You answer the phone by saying ¿Diga? or just “Yes” and finish the call by just hanging up
• You prefer UHT milk and think the Brits who say they sell “fresh milk like at home” are just slightly mad
• You cannot understand why anyone would want to continue living in the United Kingdom
• It is normal for young men (sometimes older men) to be chased down the street by a load of stampeding bulls
• A small brandy on a morning with your coffee before work is normal and a beer with second breakfast followed by a “chaser”, some liqueur or other (lemon and some sort of herbal drinks seems common)
• You actually enjoy Spanish tele